A Regina NewsFax published by the Cole Group.

Volume 1977 Issue Number 23 239-1122

KILLER CHOPS UP BODY & COOKS IT!!

MURDER was on the menu at Harley Field's restaurant -- he's charged with killing his wife, chopping her up and cooking her in the restaurant kitchen!

All cops found of his wife Carleen was her head, a few bones and 40 pounds of cooked meat wrapped in plastic inside a cardboard box. "He'd chopped her into pieces and cooked her in his fryer," regular customer Teddy Johnson told The Tattler. "People couldn't believe it. These were two very normal, decent people."

Harley Fields, 41, and Carleen, 44, had been married 11 years and had no children. Harley owned a small diner called Field's Place, in the working class section just outside of Regina Down Port. He was the cook, and Carleen was the hostess. "It was a real Mom and Pop place," said Johnson, an editor on the local paper. "They knew all their customers. We thought he was a pleasant guy."

But Carleen's mother and sister became concerned when they didn't see or hear from her for several days. On day 238, two police officers went to the diner to investigate. When they spoke with Mr. Fields, Harley told police he and Carleen had argued and she'd driven off in their car three days earlier. Then the officers looked inside a cardboard box on the porch and made a shocking discovery. The box contained Patty's head and 40 pounds of meat! (Evidently the bones had been disposed of separately.)

"You couldn't tell it was human meat because he'd cooked it," Harley's attorney Wendell McKenzie told the Tattler. Cops arrested Harley and charged him with murdering Carleen. Prosecutor Vlirblen Flipledorn said Harley killed his wife after they got into an argument and then tried to cover it up by chopping her body into pieces and cooking her in the restaurant. "We don't think he was planning to put her on the menu and serve her to customers, but it isn't clear what he intended to do with her. He could have disposed of the bones and meat through the regular refuse service restaurants use." Harley remains in custody and if convicted, he faces life imprisonment, at the very least.

McKenzie said he plans to argue that Harley was insane when he killed his wife. "Earlier this year, Mr. Fields sustained a serious head injury when a nearby explosion in a residential area caused a crate of UbiCola to fall onto his head," McKenzie said. "Harley got out of the hospital a few weeks later, but his ability to function was impaired. He suffered a tremendous amount of damage to his brain."

But another prosecutor, Martin Landry, argues that Harley was clear-minded enough to methodically dispose of Carleen's body and clean the crime scene of blood. And Carleen's younger brother Daniel also isn't buying the insanity notion. He said: "Harley knew what he was doing." Police spokesmen have assured the Tattler that there is no reason to believe any recent patrons of the diner need to be concerned about having eaten at Field's diner recently, even if they did have the ribs.

Ghost of Duke Mac Gives Man Winning Lottery Numbers!

Quentin Martinez-White is a richer man today, and he wants to make sure the credit goes to the man responsible: the late Duke Maceneil. Apparently Mr. Martinez-White only occasionally plays the planetary lottery, and with yesterday's drawing only a day away, he was considering purchasing a ticket as he entered his local QuikiMart.

Martinez-White went over to the lottery terminal, and as he looked at the screen, a "strange feeling" came over him. Quentin says the picture on the screen wavered, then rearranged itself into an image of Duke Maceneil. Martinez-White tells the Tattler that "Duke Mac spoke to me, in my mind. He told me what numbers to chose. He said it would be my turn to win. When the screen went back to normal, I played the numbers he told me to."

The numbers did, in fact win the drawing the next day, giving Mr. Martinez-White a cool $50,000 extra credits. And ten percent of that will go to the Macenites as a donation. "The least I can do is show my gratitude for this blessing."

This is just one more 'miracle' attributed to the spirit of the departed Duke Mac. (Or the "ascended" Duke Mac, if you believe the Macenites.) While less spectacular than the claim of ghostly impregnation, it seems that the former resident of the DukeDome is trying to remind the people of Regina that he's still around, in spirit if not in body. Whether that's a good thing or not depends on your personal view of the late Duke. But it's certainly adding another interesting facet to life on Regina.